I bet a lot of you are. I am.
According to Barbara Sher, a "scanner" is "a very special kind of thinker. Unlike people who are satisfied with one area of interest, you're genetically wired to pursue many areas, and that's exactly what you've been trying to do. But because your behavior is unfamilar - even unsettling - to the people around you, you've been taught that you're doing something wrong and told you must decide on one path. But this advice has been a big mistake. You've been misdiagnosed. You're not a failed specialist, you're a different creature altogether."
Yeah, a different creature. I always thought I was different but I just wasn't sure in what way. I've never "fit in". So now I am not only an introvert, I'm an introvert and a scanner. Introverted scanner. Scanner introvert. Hmm.
The past couple of weekends have been uncomfortable for me because every time I turned around, I was possessed by another interest... another activity I wanted to pursue. On Sunday I just sat down and couldn't do anything; I was rendered immobile! It was like looking at too many options on a menu and just plain not being able choose. Too many choices and not enough me. While most of the time it is a good thing to have so many interests, sometimes it creates a feeling of inadequacy because I think I can never get it all done. And in the middle of working on one thing, my mind is thinking about the next thing I want to do. It's all fun stuff that I love doing, but I get discombobulated at the prospect of doing it all. When? How?
I was told of Barbara Sher by my friend Olympia because she is a big-time scanner too and very multi-talented. She thought I might have the same "affliction". She was right.
I'd like to read Barbara's new book, Refuse to Choose: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love. On the cover of the book, it says: "Don't know what do do with your life? Are you drawn to so many things you can't choose? Do you ache to find the right direction so you can settle down and just do it? If this is you, you should refuse to choose!"
Maybe she can teach me how to create a balanced life - and get everything done I want to do. She has a forum where other scanners hang out and it's been interesting reading others' experiences and problems. I don't want another day like this past Sunday. I like being creative and industrious and busy with all the things I love to do. And for heaven's sake, when I get to the farm I will have even more to do. But... I think it will be different then - because I will be away from the confines of a corporate job and suddenly be in wide open spaces... timewise and physically. That might change everything.