I might be turning into a recluse. It's my natural tendency - to be alone. I've never had the opportunity for much solitude in my life before now, so I like my newfound aloneness. A lot. But I fear I might be wallowing in it. Is that bad? I feel so comfortable here in our little cabin in the forest with my kitties and garden. I feel peaceful and in awe of the nature that surrounds me. If I don't really have to, I don't like getting in the car and driving into town or wherever. Even though I love my exercise classes, there are days when I just don't want to go and be around people and leave my quiet, serene world. The people are perfectly nice, but it feels like a jolt to my system dealing with them and making conversation. Like coming out of a tranquil dream.
I'm starting to struggle a bit with it.
And having to force myself to get out more. A huge part of me doesn't want to though. I know, I know... most people look for any opportunity to get out and about and socialize or be seen. Not me; give me a good book or garden plot or yarn to crochet, etc. and I'm happy as a pig in mud.
But... I'm wondering... is it a healthy way to be? I commun- icate quite a bit online and of course, I see Mike every day and we get along wonderfully. I've never liked talking on the phone, so I don't do much of that, but I love writing letters. I dunno... I think I feel pressure (but, from where?) to be more social, but now I'm in a position where I don't have to be. I am still in my celebration from having to mingle mode!
I think maybe it will even out. That right now I'm like a kid in a candy store and am eating so much candy that I'll eventually get sick. But then I'll wise up and realize it's a question of balance.
But I wonder... is it possible that too much introspection and tranquility can make me sick? Because for the most part I just feel plain ol' rejuvenated and at peace.