Wahsega Valley Farm

60

Today!

And this is the best birthday ever.

Here I am... a full-blown 60 years old today, and I feel like I always have. If there were no mirrors in the house, I'd think I was still 30. I feel good emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. But 60 is definitely considered old... though I'm not sure I even feel mature yet. I still wear the same kind of clothes I've always worn. I still have my long hair. I'm still very industrious and love to do so many things that I still seem to never have enough time for - even though I am now retired from the working work-a-day world.

This is the best birthday ever because it's the first one I've had since I was 11 years old where I knew I didn't have to be at work on my birthday or go to work tomorrow or the next day. Of course, at age 11 I didn't have to work, but if I wanted any money of my own, I did. I think my allowance at that age was up to 50 cents a week - and that was after spending all Saturday doing chores. So I started babysitting for financial freedom. I got my first "real" job three years later at Pet Village... and thus my work life began.

So today is super-dooper special and I am at home spending my birthday exactly where I want to be and pondering what I'm going to do today.

I feel like I am living in the lap of luxury.

Turning 60 is an odd, odd thing though. I suppose it stems from hearing all my life that it means one is officially old. Fifties isn't old yet. Sixties is. Of course, the closer I got to 60 the less old it seemed to be, but I certainly remember I couldn't even imagine being this old not that long ago. I think the most disconcerting part of reaching this age is realizing I am now most definitely on the downhill slide. I've lived more of my life than what I have left. But I don't think much about that or dying. For one thing, death doesn't scare me at all and for another, there is just too much to do!

Yeah, watching one's physical "looks" fade as the years go by can be a bothersome thing - and yes, I've looked into the mirror many-a-time and pulled up the skin on my face to see how I'd look. But the funny thing is... as you get older, all that physical beauty stuff just doesn't matter as much. Sure, I still want to look "pretty", but would I like to look like I did when I was 30? I'm not so sure. I'm not out to attract men anymore or look all hot and sexy. I've shifted from wanting to project "comeliness" in my youth to something else.

We go through lots of transformations during our lives and I'm in one now. It's happening because I now have more freedom than I've ever had in my life, and it is still so unfamiliar. Unfamiliar but exhilarating. And also because of reaching this age. It makes me assess my life up until this point and think about what I want to do with the rest of it. It makes me realize that if I knew then what I know now I would have made some different choices in my past. My vision has changed a lot as I've aged and it's such an interesting transition. It's not that we lose so much as we age, we morph into different beings, and certain things that seemed so crucially important in our youth are replaced by other things - and our eyes and brain and heart see differently. 

To every season, turn, turn turn...

This video kinda explains what I'm talking about. It's a song by the Byrds that I used to love back in the 60's (adapted from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible - with the exception of the last line - and put to music by Pete Seeger in 1959). It also incorporates one of my favorite movies, Forrest Gump.

To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of peace, I swear it’s not too late

An about-face

I cut my hair!

 

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 
 
Okay, I haven't cut my hair... but...

I don't want to grow to classic length. I changed my mind... did an about-face. I want a change and am tired of never seeing my length. I know... I know... my hair is "pretty" at the length it's at, but you know what? I look fine from behind when my hair is down and I take hair pictures, but that is the only time my hair is down. I want to look nice from the front too and updos do nothing for my face. That would be NOTHING... times 2! With no bangs or fringe or layers or anything around my face, it's just pulled straight back. I'm tired of it! I want more than my hair looking nice. Know what I mean? I want my hair to complement me - not run my life and be the main focus when people look at me. I'm not having fun with it anymore and want a change. Nothing drastic, as I love long hair and will keep it long. But, how long? I dunno.

Is this coming from from Mike's granny statement from my previous post? Maybe a little, but it's only a tiny part of what's rolling around in my head. I think a lot of it has to do with my 60th birthday coming up and being retired and having a different life now. As some of you know, both my parents died at the age of 64. I've never been bothered by a birthday before, but this one has me pondering my mortality, not just my hair or what I look like. Although I've always done things to try to prevent heart related problems, one never knows when it's time to go.

It's not so much about feeling as though I look "old" as wanting to do something different. Turning 60 is a big transition mentally for me and I'd like to shed some things from my past. Shake it up a little y'know? I've worn my hair in so few ways my whole life that I'd like a change. I'm going to have Mike cut it back to waist tomorrow and then go from there. (Note to Alex: please don't beat your head against the wall; it will be fine!)

I like the length I had when Mike and I got married. This picture is from our honeymoon in Montana:

 
The length is above waist here and my hair hasn't turned all narrow and thin looking. And I could wear it down whenever I wanted at this length. But I might want it a bit shorter than that if I decide to get some wispy bangs - or something around my face to soften the half-ups and ponytails, etc. and when I wear it down (yay!). It will certainly be long enough to wear up if I want to, but I won't have to, like now.

And, here is my hair at bra strap length. I liked this length a lot because of the styles I could do then, but mainly because I could get waves by plopping my hair. I love waves and at my current length, they've all but disappeared.

 

Yesterday, I tried on different hair styles online. What fun! (Give it a try at Instyle's "Hollywood Hair Virtual Makover".) The shortest length I would even consider at this point is bra strap; I was mainly looking for how I'd like it cut around my face. I didn't find the exact look I was searching for, but it was fun to see some possibilities. The picture I used of me was taken in the summer of 2009 at my high school reunion so is kinda recent. It was the only front-on picture I could find of my face. When looking at these pictures, don't consider the length as much as what is around my face; that is what I'm pondering more than anything. The length will be longer than what these pictures show.

This first picture is Mike's and my favorite of the choices I could find. I think I prefer myself without bangs and this one just has layers around the front of the face - but I don't know how that would help with softening ponytails and updos since I don't like longer layers hanging around my face. In fact, they would drive me nuts. Down though, like this, is nice, and the layers are long enough to pull back if I wanted to. 
 

This next picture is similar, but just with fewer layers around the face. It would just be a shorter version of my hair now, basically, with the front cut even shorter. Not much of a change except that I could wear it down whenever I wanted.

 

I had to try on some bangs too. Before I started growing out my perm and length ten years ago, I wore them for quite a few years. I don't think I look bad in them, and would like them a lot when I pull my hair back for any reason, but these are probably too heavy for me. Maybe something wispier. If I opt for bangs, it will be after I've adjusted to my new length. I also love the hair color here, but alas, for me it would be too high maintenance. 

 

Here is a look I like on Carol Alt that would allow all kinds of style options. Remember, my length would be longer than any these pictures are showing!

 

And another bang/layering around the face option that looks interesting:

 

And finally, a picture of Jane Seymour (who is also turning 60 this year) and the look I really like around the face while wearing an updo. I like her longer side-swept bangs better than the straight down ones:

 

As some of you remember, I was excited when I thought I was going to switch from blonde to red hair awhile back. Going red turned out to be way too high maintenance though, so I nixed that plan. But I still want a hair change; it just has to remain super low maintenance.

So there you have it. Feel free to comment with your opinions of any kind; I'd love to hear them. For now, I'm going to put my hair back up into this hideously unattractive updo and get busy around here.

From Elly Mae to Granny

Sigh...

Somehow you just don't expect it to happen to you... looking in the mirror and seeing "old".

(The word "old" is in quotes here because if one thinks one is going to live forever for whatever spiritual, religious or other belief one has, the word "old" really doesn't have much meaning. I use the word to describe the ravages of time that occur on our bodies while we reside here on Earth.)

I have days when I look in the mirror and see a 30-year old and I have days when I see myself as I am... an almost 60-year old.

When I was 13, I went to our school Halloween party as Elly Mae Clampett. The Beverly Hillbillies show was popular then and I related to Elly Mae because she loved "critters" so much and was a tomboy like I was. To the party I wore jeans with the rope belt like she did and a shirt like hers and was barefoot. And I bought a cheap ponytail at the dime store that looked just like Elly Mae's, and did my hair up to look just like hers. Everyone at the party knew who I was, yes'm.

 
Donna Douglas as Elly Mae Clampett

Night before last I was at the computer with my glasses on and my hair in a bun and I wasn't wearing any makeup. I was wearing my keep-the-fire-going-not-very-feminine-but-necessary-for-the-job clothes. Mike was sitting on the couch behind me and I turned around to say something to him, looking over my glasses at him.

Shortly afterwards, he said, "You're starting to remind me of Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies," without giving it so much as a 2-second thought.

Does he know what he has done??? He has burned the image of Granny into my mind and it is now there like a permanently seared scar that will never ever disappear.

GRANNY???

 
Irene Ryan as Granny

The part that blows me away is.... I can see it! I CAN SEE IT.

I couldn't berate Mike too much for his comment because I could see what he was talking about. But at the same time, I told him that "he don't know nuthin' about women" because telling a woman that she looks like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies is not a wise thing to do - ever. Not wise. EVER. You want to tell a woman she looks beautiful no matter what, right? Of course you do! And, to Mike's credit, he tells me I am "perfect" and beautiful a lot and I have no complaints there. But... did the truth seep out of his loose lips?

Granny's image is boinging around in my head like a bouncing ball moving about constantly, popping up when I look in the mirror and when I'm wondering about what to do with my hair and when I'm getting dressed for the day. And it doesn't help much that I still see Dogpatch when I look out the front of the cabin. I'm now officially old and live in Dogpatch. Well, isn't that just dandy?

I will be 60 years old next month. I'm not a spring chicken anymore. No matter how many lotions and potions I smear on myself, my skin is not going to bounce back to its more youthful self. I don't wanna look like Granny. I don't want to wear buns. They look elegant on young faces, but on me with jowls beginning to flap in the wind, I look like Granny. And I don't want to look over my glasses at anyone ever again!

I need a hair makeover. I need plastic surgery. I need to wear makeup again. Aaarrrrggghhhh... Old age is coming after me and I'm not ready... I'm not! Here I am wandering around thinking I'm Elly Mae... but I ain't! Granny is coming to get me and I'm trying to keep two steps ahead of her, constantly looking over my shoulder now.

'Scuse me, but I gotta go put on my runnin' shoes.